How do you change? Start somewhere

WP installed 

How do you change?  Start somewhere….

Start somewhere.  Start here.  Here at this table which is the perfect size but is covered in hideous laminate. Start here- in this unfinished house that I willed into being, but needs so much work that I rarely- if ever- invite anyone in.

Start somewhere.  Start here- in this body with too soft flesh. Sweat is surely its only salvation. Start here- with this mind so filled with ideas.  Perfect ideas, coddled ideas born in fantasy and daydreams.  Smash them against the hard rocks of doing, trying, failing.  Sharpen them, hone them- now- on this very page.

Start somewhere. Start here- a floor below my sleeping baby- no, my sleeping toddler.  Here- a floor below my most all-consuming responsibility.   My daughter she sleeps on a soft fleece blanket in a small sweet room- her innocence reigning. All the while, her fearless curiosity and tenacity quietly grow.  Start here- enveloped by the weight of motherhood- which presses its two warm little hands against my cheeks, and looks me straight in the eyes.

Start somewhere- start here- with my very first blog post.

We’ve all heard the cliché “you have to start somewhere.” And it is a cliché- but it is also true.  The only way to get anywhere is to start from exactly where you are.  Do something.  Stop waiting for the right time or moment.  I have lost so many years by not doing things, by just thinking.  SO much progress wasted.  Perfectionism will sink you.  Shame will sink you.   Your hopes and dreams no matter how mundane (to have a clean house) or magnificent (?) need to start somewhere.

This blog, Becoming Vivid, is about embracing life- about being vigorous. It is about learning to be unafraid of my desires. It is about doing things I usually just think about, and getting dirty.  It is about releasing the shame of imperfection in order to make room for a better, fuller, more alive existence.  It about is not letting any more years slip away.

Maybe you are trying to do the same thing?

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

2 Comments

  1. Posted March 8, 2014 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    You go, girl! Keep it up. I am loving these two posts.

    I’m not a mom, but have descended into the depths of ‘mom-jeans.’ I look back now and can kinda, sorta trace that descent, but the main thing is that I know I’m there. Or was. Hopefully ‘was.’ It’s an even harder thing to be patient with myself as I trudge back up the climb into ‘normal’ life.

    You’re doing fantastic. Keep writing. I want to read more!

    • Banana
      Posted March 9, 2014 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

      Hi! Thank you very much for the encouragement! And, yes it is true, you don’t have to be a Mom to find your self slipping into “Mom Jeans”- it can creep up on you! I am so glad you found my blog!

One Trackback

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: