Oh- Hello

Thank you for checking out my blog!

A little about me- I live in an old row house, that needs a lot of work, in an east coast city with my musician / bar owner husband and my little girl.   Like a lot of people, I am a jangle of contradictions- part cynic, part doubter, part believer in magic and the power of love.

I was a teenage “space case” and “party girl” who ate books- lots of them. Now I am a 41 year old stay-at- home mom.  I love my husband and my daughter and I miss binge reading.   Occasionally, I miss the irresponsibility of my youth- but mostly I wish I hadn’t let my fears, laziness, perfectionism and anxiety hold me back so much.  I have gone all-out for certain very important things, but overall- I have made too many choices by not making choices.  I have spent a lot of time thinking and dreaming but not doing.

I want a lot and I am finally ready to admit it.  A huge part of me suddenly feels very nervous and guilty for expressing that fact.  This blog is about my attempts to step off the sidelines and into the ring.  I may get battered, I may fall down but I am determined to not back down.  Maybe a few laughs and tears will fall along the way…..

Areas of future transformation include: becoming a better writer, getting strong and physically fit, making money and other financial aspirations, rediscovering my personal style, letting go of unnecessary shame and embracing my desires, being a better friend, getting organized.  And that is just for starters.  Can a person change so much about themselves and preferably in a short amount of time?  I don’t know but I am going to try.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt

16 Comments

  1. Posted March 22, 2014 at 1:10 am | Permalink

    I love this: “I’ve made too many choices by not making choices.” You’re awesome for knowing that you want to change, and taking steps to make it happy. It’s brave.

    • Banana
      Posted March 22, 2014 at 1:13 am | Permalink

      Hi Jacey, Thank you for checking out my blog and for the kind words!

  2. Posted March 22, 2014 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

    It’s never too late to be all you want to be – one step at a time 😉

    • Banana
      Posted March 22, 2014 at 8:18 pm | Permalink

      Hi Sandra, Thank you!!

  3. Posted March 28, 2014 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    Seriously love your blog so I nominated you for the Liebster Award!

    • Banana
      Posted March 29, 2014 at 1:05 am | Permalink

      Thank you!!! I am flattered! 🙂

  4. Posted April 2, 2015 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    This is all so beautiful. It is a gorgeous way of expressing the human condition. I love the TR quote and I love the idea of living “vividly.” Such fine thoughts put into such fine words. Kudos.

  5. Posted October 18, 2015 at 10:03 am | Permalink

    I’m posting this because you are following my blog, radiantyogawellness.com, on wordpress. I wanted to let you know that I moved my site from wordpress.com to wordpress.org, which means that if you still want to follow it, you have to sign up again:
    Thanks for reading my blog and have a great day!
    Jessica
    PS Great quote!

  6. Posted March 9, 2017 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

    “I wish I hadn’t let my fears, laziness, perfectionism and anxiety hold me back so much.”

    I can relate to that. I’m just restarting my life again at 40 and there are a million things I wish I hadn’t let hold me back. Good luck for the future! (Although I’m sure you won’t need luck).

    • Banana
      Posted March 9, 2017 at 3:17 pm | Permalink

      Scarlett- I could totally relate to your about page too! I would have liked and commented if there had been the space. Look forward to following your blog and writing journey. You have an interesting writing style and voice.

      • Posted March 9, 2017 at 3:30 pm | Permalink

        I only just realised I don’t have comments enabled on my About page…thanks for that! I tried to follow your blog but the button didn’t come up…am I looking in the wrong place?

        • Banana
          Posted March 9, 2017 at 3:36 pm | Permalink

          ugh… I am trying to figure that out. My tech skills are pathetic (I have gotten a tip on a fellow blogger on this that I am going to try today)…. Also, I think you can follow me via email right now and also I just started a twitter for this blog which I am releasing posts on. Yet another area in need of self improvement. haha https://twitter.com/becoming_vivid

          • Posted March 9, 2017 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

            Ahh, I never thought to try subscribing by email…I’m lazy, I always look for the quick button at the bottom of the page 🙁

          • Banana
            Posted March 9, 2017 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

            Yeah- I feel the same way. (And yet I have this problem.) Thanks for the twitter follow!

    • Banana
      Posted March 9, 2017 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

      Also- I recently started pulling myself out a pit of despair and stagnation. I got off track once again. But I am back now. I can feel the time flying. Let’s both grab our forties and make sh*t happen!

      • Posted March 9, 2017 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

        Absolutely! I intend to make up for lost time from now on…there’s something about hitting 40 and realising there are probably more days behind you than ahead of you that focuses your attention. And I have to pull myself out of one of those pits at least once a week, but I think that’s all part of the journey 🙂

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